Neworking without the yawn attack

Do you know those networking events where you wonder why you didn’t just choose Netflix and pizza instead? You might secretly regret showing up, and that is a mistake, because others can tell. The key to successful professional encounters is actually quite simple: be genuinely interested in being there! Whether it’s a networking event, a mentoring meet-up, or a job interview, the trick lies in preparation. And no, we’re not talking about mental pep talks like “I’m a lion, hear me roar,” but about three practical perspectives that make life easier:

1. Who am I? – Self-presentation, strengths, and goals

No, this isn’t the start of a philosophical soul-searching journey. It’s about knowing how to present yourself. What defines you? What are you really good at? What moment in your life was so awesome that you’d still tell the story after your fifth glass of wine at the office Christmas party?

Prepare your self-presentation
A clear sense of your role and professional background not only makes you more confident, it also helps you appear composed, even when your heart is pounding so fast it could set the beat at a techno party.

Consider how to describe your job in an engaging way. Forget the title and company name. They might be impressive name-drops, or they might just earn you a puzzled “huh?” from your listener. When you describe what you do, keep these prompts in mind:

• Which movie character (e.g. superhero) could do your job? (Or if your job became a movie, who would play you?)
• What’s your everyday superpower?

• What do people see you doing?
• What kind of impact do you have on those around you?
• How do you contribute to your company’s success?
• What kind of work environment are you in? 

Reflect on your strengths
It’s not just about describing your job. Think about your abilities and how to highlight them in conversations:

• What are you good at? What comes easily to you?
• Which activities give you energy? (often strengths)
• Which activities drain your energy? (often weaknesses)

Clarify your goals
And finally: what do you actually want to achieve? SMART goals more things more tangible, so use the well-known acronym:

• S – Explain what you do
• M – Offer a way to measure your activity
• A – Describe what falls within your scope of responsibility
• R – Explain why it matters
• T – Describe when you do your work (especially relevant if you work shifts or you work hybrid)
  

   

Who is the other person? Background, interests, and expectations

Imagine meeting someone for the first time and, for some reason, your normally creative brain has gone on vacation. You stare at them, and not a single interesting question or topic comes to mind. Awkward? Definitely. Let’s prevent that with the key: prepare.

Do your research
Find out who you’ll be talking to. Interesting projects, career paths, or (if you’re really keen) even their favorite recipes from a cooking forum. Everything helps. Look for:

• What projects has this person worked on?
• What do you have in common?
• What industries have they been in?
• What’s their educational background?
• What makes them interesting to you?

Identify interests
Social media makes it easy: look for hobbies or interests that could be relevant to your conversation.

• What does the person stand for?
• What do they comment on or react to?
• Google their name.
• Do you share any mutual connections?

Here’s a story from my own life: I once went to an NFT event knowing nothing about NFTs - except that there’s a monkey NFT people spend fortunes on. The lesson? If you feel unsure about a topic, just admit it. I do that all the time, whether it’s NFTs (no clue until I wanted one) or “wild herbs” (suddenly I’m invited to a chat and get to learn more).

See it as an opportunity if you don’t know, and avoid the “perfect preparation trap.” Instead, focus on refreshing your general knowledge. Google is your best friend, even when it’s about the difference between NFTs (Non-Fungible Tokens) and NFTs (New Fashion Trends). (Personally, I’ll take handbags over digital apes any day.)

Anticipate expectations
Think about what the other person might hope to get out of the conversation. Once you’ve thought that through:

• Prepare questions to confirm your assumptions.
• Consider how you could meet those expectations? (perhaps by connecting them with someone from your network.)

What’s the context? – Event, organizer, and venue

Context is everything. Imagine meeting your new mentor during a tandem skydiving jump. Yes, agreed. Probably not the ideal setting for a deep conversation, right?

Understand the event

• What kind of event is it?
• What’s the main purpose of the event (e.g., networking)?
• What are the key topics or sessions?
• Are there formal and informal parts requiring different preparation?
• Will there be opportunities for small talk?

Know the organizer
Is the event hosted by a company, a professional association, or an informal group?

• Who’s organizing it?
• What are their goals?
• Is there a focus, like innovation or personal growth?
• What values might the organizer emphasize? This gives you clues about the atmosphere.

Consider the venue
The location makes a difference:

• What kind of atmosphere can you expect?
• Any logistics to consider (e.g. travel, parking, technology)?
• How does the setting influence your dress and demeanor?
• Any special requirements, like tools for a workshop?

This helps guide your approach:

• Networking event? Small talk and business cards ready.
• Mentoring session? Focus on goals and shared expectations.
• Job interview? Maybe skip your Pokémon collection, unless you’re applying at Nintendo.

As you can see, the context of the meeting matters and has a big influence on the conversation and the topics likely to come up.

Preparation works like serotonin

Your preparation will have a calming, confidence-boosting effect, like a dose of serotonin, because in the end, that’s what it comes down to: preparation is the secret to relaxed conversations. The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel, and the less you’ll regret later going, because your meeting will run smoothly.

If mentoring is especially close to your heart, check out the Mentoring Journal: it includes everything from a personal profile (milestones, challenges, life lessons) to a mentoring agreement (goals, rules, and more). Everything you need to feel well-prepared.

Still reading or already doing?

Below this blog you’ll find an appendix with a checklist to make casual conversations easier. It covers all three perspectives – here’s your quick-start summary:

Practice beforehand!

• Self-presentation: Plan how you’ll introduce yourself/your role.
• Strengths reflection: Think about your abilities and how to highlight them in conversations
• Goal clarity: Define SMART goals for your conversation.

Go online!

• Background: Research your conversation partner’s role and career path.
• Interests: Find hobbies or interests that might be relevant for your talk.
• Expectations: Consider what the other person wants to gain from the conversation.

Get informed!

• Event: What kind of event is it?
• Organizer: Who is behind it?
• Venue: What’s the atmosphere like, and how should you present yourself?

So, get planning! And remember: even if your conversation doesn’t go perfectly, at the very least you’ll have a funny story to tell at the next party.